no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
