My brain says no but my pants say off.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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