i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize