party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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