guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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