why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
