Swine flu. Run for my life!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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