On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
