Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
false alarm. still invincible.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
