You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
