i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
