I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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