i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
