She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
