My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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