worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
