my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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