and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
