question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
