Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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