Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
