playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he quoted the bible to break up with me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
