My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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