Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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