under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
