Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
