He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
