His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
