Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
