Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize