google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
