it wasn't lemon gatorade
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize