so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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