a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think people are normalizing furries
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
