I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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