What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
