...so i touched it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
