So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
