I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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