I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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