Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
