so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize