i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
there is puke in my bra ... again
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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