he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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