So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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