Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
