everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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