He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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