Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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