he wants to bone in the snuggie
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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