whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i believe in u and ur pee
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
