these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
