Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
