I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
