remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
