evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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