I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
