Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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