scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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