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We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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