my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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