Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
